It’s all part of the plan

New international Dark Knight movie poster, stolen fresh from The Bat Blog.  Check the jump to see the rest.  They are nummy.  I suddenly need more walls.

This is by far the second most awesome thing that has happened today.

GTA IV: It’s here

And consequently, Juan is not…

It is SO awesome, I may weep.  And I haven’t even played yet.  Stop teasing me, Dave.

Despite the lack of blogging in the last week or so (what can I say? work has been busy), don’t expect much in the way of blogging or any other kind of meaningful conversation for the forseeable future other than the occasional mumble or grunt.  You have been warned.  And by you, I mean my fan(s).  But then you know that this is how I roll.

I will, however, take a break from The Mayhem on Sunday, when I plan to go see Iron Man (which looks more and more awesome, even if The Dude looks very un-Dudelike).

Also, I will not be watching the Sharks tonight, and not just because of GTA IV.  They seem to play better when I don’t watch.  Thank goodness for TiVO.

4 Down, 12 to Go

That is all.

Movie of the Year: Batman - The Dark Knight

This could be the greatest movie of all time.  Not just comic movie… movie.

Quick Robin! Stand Around and Do Nothing!

Swamps are BAD!

Hockey:  Which team will show up tonight?  I cannot handle the ups and downs of this series, so I am going to the bar to drink and hopefully not think about hockey (much).  For some reason, my team does better when I don’t do anything to show my support of them… it’s a weird superstition. 

The Sharks have been up, then down, then up, then down in this series… I hope tonight they’re back up.  I’m trying to be optimistic. Really.  If the Sharks lose, Hinan will spend days, possibly even weeks (seriously… it takes him that long), trying to come up with a joke.  It’ll be brutal.  Mostly because my retort will take me mere seconds and will probably make Hinan cry.

If they win, I get to send Hinan The Picture That Makes Him Crazy and maybe some others of the Leafs, Canucks and Flames golfing.  Order in the universe will be maintained.

The last time I wrote a rant, Los Tiburones won a key game.  I’m not saying I’m magic, like Jesus, but I’ll try anything.

Notes for the Sharks:

• Skate like you mean it.
• Put big bodies in front of Kipper and fire away.  You guys are the biggest team in the league.  Use your size to your advantage.
• Give the puck to Marleau and Clowe and let everyone feed off their energy, effort and drive. 
• Hit everything. 
• Defense: Pick up your man in the defensive zone… stop standing around watching the puck carrier. 
• Scratch Michalek.
• Play 60 minutes.  Or more than that if it goes into OT.  It shouldn’t need to if you play 60.
• You lost momentum last game.  Go back in and get it back in the first five minutes.  Do something that gets the crowd jacked up early.

Of course, if they do win, I’ll have to deal with Portard AKA Mr. Casual Hockey Fan AKA “Oh, the Stars won last night?  How about that!”  But then I like Portard because at least the verbal sparring is on equal footing.

Oh, and the Sharks will have had advanced.  That would be awesome.

Damn you, Grodd!

Batman and Robin remind us why monkeys cannot be trusted.  And not just because Tim can control them with his mind.

They did it…

…my faith is restored.

The last five minutes of the game were amazing.  I even did the Cheechoo thing.

Good on you, boys.  I cannot wait to see what you do in Game 5!

Cannot wait for tomorrow…

…Showcase Presents: The Legion of Super Dicks*, Volume 2 will be mine… MINE! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

And yes, it will be glorious.  But then super dickery is always glorious.

*Now taking wagers on how many times they make Superboy cry in this 500+ page volume.  Bidding ends at midnight PT on 4/15/08.

3:33 of Bliss, 56:27 of Agony

For three minutes and thirty-three seconds last night, I was never, ever so excited to be a Sharks fan (except maybe on the day the Sharks traded for Joe Thornton). At 3:33 of their third playoff game vs a very tough Calgary Flames team, the Sharks looked like they completely owned this series. They came out fast, skating like the wind and crashing the net with an intensity I’ve never seen before. Calgary looked shellshocked. 3:33 in and they were wide-eyed and scrambling for their playoff lives. These Sharks looked nigh-unstoppable.

Then Mike Keenan called a timeout and pulled Mikka Kiprusoff in favor of backup Curtis Joseph. Keenan is known for pulling a goalie at the drop of a puck, so pulling Kipper didn’t seem like that much of a stretch. He sent a message to his team.

At 3:34 of the first period, things started to turn. The Sharks started playing their conservative, defense-first style which works late in a game when you’re trying to protect a lead, but not when you have 56:27 to go in a playoff game. Having a three goal lead and lots of momentum with almost an entire game left to play doesn’t amount to anything if you start playing prevent defense. It might work in the regular season, but this is the playoffs. No team in the playoffs worth its playoff salt is just going to lie down and die.

And that’s exactly what Calgary did last night. They responded to the three goals. They started skating. They started hitting. They made passes. They forechecked and put pressure on the Sharks. It seems like the roles reversed from the first few minutes of the game. The Sharks started to look bewildered. Calgary then did what was probably the smartest play in the entire game: they went after Patrick Marleau, driving him into the boards with a vicious hit.

Anyone that follows the Sharks from a more casual perspective is probably thinking “Well, so what? So what if they went after Marleau? It’s not like he’s Joe Thornton.” Anyone that watches Sharks playoff hockey knows that Marleau is the guy that stirs the drink in the playoffs. He pretty much beat Nashville single-handed in last year’s opening round until Detroit figured out how much impact he has in the playoffs and shut him down. Calgary seemed to take a play out of the Detroit playbook and employed the same strategy. Every time they were near Marleau, they hit him. They took him off his game. And they took the Sharks off their game.

Calgary rallied because they never stopped attacking. The crowd got back into the game (and Calgary has one of the loudest, most passionate crowds I have ever seen). The team got an important win in the series and an important psychological advantage in the series. Right now, the Flames own the momentum and the advantage. And the next game is on home ice.

The Sharks have a lot to overcome.

Joe Thornton needs to prove he is a playoff performer. Joe Thornton dominates in the regular season. With his combination of size, physicality, playmaking and scoring, Joe is a force to be reckoned with. His skill level far surpasses many players in the league and he can control the entire tempo of a game. He needs to elevate his game in the playoffs because he has been a non-factor thus far. The Sharks need more than two assists out of their franchise player. Joe needs to shoot more too… he has a wicked shot. Use it.

Bench Milan Michalek. Milan is great player, but he’s been a non-factor so far. A benching might be a good wakeup call.

Whatever happened to Brian Campbell? Oh Soupy, where did you go? I miss you so. Brian Campbell was another great trade pulled off by GM Doug, and it reaped immediate dividends in the regular season (anyone remember the 18 game unbeaten streak?). Campbell brought smooth skating, passing and offensive flair to the blueline, which the Sharks definitely needed. The other thing he brought was unpredictability. He needs to jump into and lead the play more often. This creates mismatches… this has defensemen exclaiming “holy crap” because they’re never quite sure what to do. This sort of play will win you hockey games. Let the lad run wild. Take the fight to them.

Clone Ryane Clowe. I had my suspicions that Ryane Clowe would be a force to be reckoned with in the playoffs and I was right. I would give him the Conn Smythe trophy right now, if there weren’t fifteen more games that need to be won. The no-look goal he scored last night showed he’s got as much skill as he has brawn. He hits everything in sight, yet is always in the play, creating, and driving to the net. The rest of the team needs to watch what this guy does and do as he does… he knows how to play playoff hockey.

Skate, hit and drive to the net. Playoff hockey really comes down to a couple of things: fundamentals and intensity. The Sharks need to improve both. Skate like your life depends on it, every shift. Hit everyone in sight… never stop hitting. And crash the net. Fancy shooting will not get you many goals in the playoffs, but there’s always a lot of garbage that can be swept into the net. (See Ryane Clowe, above).

Prevent defense prevents you from winning. The more time you spend playing defense in your own end, the more likely you are to lose. The Sharks are one of the best teams in the league at protecting a lead… just don’t start protecting that lead with 56 minutes to go in a game.

The Jody Shelley Factor… or lack thereof. The Sharks got steam rolled last night. Shelley should have been on the ice immediately after the Marleau hit with an answer waiting for Iginla or Phaneuf. If they attack your star players, be prepared to answer twofold. Bring a gun to the knife fight. Don’t just buckle like a belt. Let Jody go out there to do what he does best… by being physical and creating room for your more skilled players.

Watch out for the guy crashing the net on the weak side. You guys have beaten the Flames with this play on the powerplay. And they’ve used it to beat you on their powerplay. More than once. When you have four guys standing in front of your own net, make sure at least one of them is watching the weak side.

I know it seems I’m ranting and complaining a lot, but this is my team. I bleed teal at this time of the year and really love what this organization has built over the last few years. I think we’ve got a truly special team… one that could win it all. But last night showed me they’re lacking that crucial killer instinct and intensity to get the job done (which was a problem in the regular season as well, except in the last 20 or so). The Sharks had that killer instinct for 3:33, but they need to have it for a full 60 minutes. Just because you’re up early doesn’t mean you stop attacking. This is the playoffs. Keep attacking.

Rant over. And for the record, I didn’t pick on Nabokov at all (which is probably a miracle). Personally, I thought he played swell. Yep, I actually wrote that. Good job Nabby.

Go Sharks!

The playoffs start tonight… and my mood will swing accordingly.