…or rather, my sorry excuse for blogging.  It’s a new month, so I thought I’d throw something up here.  These clowns seemed appropriate.  There’s so much irony in this photo, I couldn’t resist posting it.

You’re welcome.

Whiteout, brought to you by two fine lads named Greg Rucka and Steve Lieber, is now officially a trailer.  Soon, it will officially be a movie.  And you will need to officially go see it.  It’s murder, mayhem and mystery in Antarctica.  Ant-freaking-arctica.

Seriously though, Whiteout was a really great book and I think it will make for a really great movie.  It doesn’t hurt that Kate Beckinsale is easy on the eyes either.

This one is made of win. Win, win, WIN!

I like to think that somewhere Rucka and Lieber are giggling like schoolgirls.

Take two steps forward, then take four steps back.

Back in 2007, Marvel made the decision to kill Steve Rogers, the man behind the mask of Captain America and one of their most iconic characters.  The Civil War was winding down into an uncertain future, the Red Skull was running rampant with his master plan to gain control of the American government and then Marvel pulled out a shocking ending to Captain America #25:  they killed Captain America.

Killing Captain America may not seem like a big deal to most outside of comics, but this comic book death came across as completely different and non-standard.  There was no hint of Cap’s impending demise when it was originally revealed.  His death was shocking and sudden and brutal.  It was ultimately heroic and iconic.  To me, it went down as one of the best moments in comics history in the last 20 years because it exemplified nobility, sacrifice and change.  It seemed different. And good.  And they did it at a time when everything was changing in their little universe and things were going from bad to worse for our heroes.

It didn’t feel like Marvel was selling out.

Word of the death spread quickly, and not just inside the comics world.  In an unusual occurrence, there was a lot of big-time media coverage for a mainstream comic for the first time and as a result, copies of Captain America #25 were flying off the shelves.  Everywhere, it seemed people that didn’t read comics or have any interest in them knew about the story.  Marvel did a great job of surprising everyone and getting a lot of attention, which is what you want in a big moment like this one.

But as great as the story was and all the extra attention it was getting, I couldn’t help but feel they’d eventually screw the pooch and not leave a good thing alone.  I’m sure I said something flippant and to the effect that Marvel “would screw it up” and bring Steve back.  I even remarked as much to my comics-reading and non-comics reading friends who asked about the story.  “Just give it a couple years.  He’ll be back.”

I will be the first to admit that I was pretty initially angry that Marvel killed off Steve Rogers.  He was easily one of my favorite characters since I started reading comics and I always felt a great deal of empathy with the character.  It also took some time to accept the change and the passing of the mantle to Cap’s former partner Bucky.  Again, this was a bit of an unexpected twist, but one that worked out brilliantly.  Captain America has long been Marvel’s most consistent and strong book since Brubaker took over, but the quality of Brubaker’s storytelling really shined with the title character being absent for the better part of a year after Steve’s death.  Even though it took a while for Bucky to assume the mantle, he did so as his own person, but in a way that honored Steve’s legacy (even if he had to do it in a horribly-designed new costume).

What’s better is that ‘Bucky Captain America’ is really starting to come into his own.  He’s a compelling character that constantly wrestles with the burden of the mantle, his horrific past and just seems to be getting his feet under him.  He’s turning into a great hero.

Only now, Marvel, in their infinite wisdom, have decided to pull the rug out from under him (and us) again.  Captain America #600 will be released today and the big reveal is that Marvel is bringing Steve back.*

This event seems to be getting it fair share of coverage, but I’m wondering if/how it will be received by the mainstream media and compared to the events of 2007.  What will the reaction be if the story does gain any traction?  Will it draw more new readers to comics?  Will it be looked upon as a publicity stunt and money grab?  Will it undermine the potential of comics to tell good, compelling stories without pulling the same death/rebirth rabbit out of the hat all the time?

Another big question is will Ed Brubaker’s brand of magic work a third time?  Can he pull off another big story idea that I initially disliked, then grew to love?  He did it the first time by breaking one of the holy taboos of comics by bringing Bucky back from the grave.  And not only brought him back, but made him a rich and compelling character filled with a nasty past and lots of depth.

The second time was the death of Steve Rogers, the original Captain America.  Killing Captain America, at least to me, is like the Marvel equivalent of killing Batman… there are just some things I don’t think would ever happen in my lifetime (*ahem*).

And now Marvel is bringing Steve back.  Of course, this is all being touted as part of some insidious Master Plan, years in the making.  It’s been reported that Brubaker actually built elements into the original story to support the return of Steve Rogers.  While I figured something like this might happen, I was hoping it would never come to pass.  I’m sure Brubaker will handle it very well, in a way that makes sense, and won’t handle it like some lousy retcon.

Here I was prepared to face a comics world where nobility, sacrifice and even death held meaning.  I thought, nay hoped, maybe things had changed.  I thought maybe we were getting a bit more sophisticated about our stories of men in tights beating each other up.

We’ll have to wait and see what happens, but sometimes I hate it when I’m right.

Nothing to see here… just a dork messing around with his webcam.  As you were.

Dia De Juan has arrived. You may commence celebrating. I expect tribute. And a parade.

Hi, I’m the sentient AI protocol of Juan’s Blog (or whatever the hell he’s calling it this week).  The answer to the above question is a resounding “yes,” but Juan has been a deceptively busy lad (or so he says) and has spent more time/energy/effort:

• Scribbling things in various notebooks (his handwriting is atrocious BTW)
• Plotting a major heist (was I supposed to say that?)
• Typing stuff into computers (he’s very clumsy on the keyboard)
• Mourning the loss of his precious Battlestar Galactica
• Bleeding on cocktail napkins (so unsanitary)
• Growing a playoff beard (that will probably end up being very short)
• Writing on flesh (externally only and only as needed)
• Searching for the magical and elusive PBR in bottles
• Cutting and pasting letters for a ransom letter (he’s a butcher with a pair of scissors)
• Scrawling on random bathroom walls
• Going out into the sun and working on his “farmer’s tan/sunburn”

He regrets to inform you he is extremely dismayed by his Sharks’ dismal playoff performance and is plotting to tamper with genetically engineer human DNA with actual Great White Shark DNA in the hopes of winning a Stanley Cup. Is biting an NHL penalty? There’s no mention of it in the rulebook.

He sends his love to his reader.

Rumor has it the Senators traded Neil to the Sharks, but I can’t seem to find any info that confirms this supposition.   If they didn’t acquire him, it’d be a shame because he’s exactly what they need.  WANT WANT WANT!!!

Update 9pm PT: According to Sens GM Bryan Murray,  he had some interest in Neil and even an offer on the table as late as last night, but a deal never materialized.  Chris Neil will remain an Ottawa Senator this season as he heads for Unrestricted Free Agency.  Bah!

The Sharks ended up acquiring Travis Moen and Kent Huskins from the Ducks for a couple prospects a conditional draft pick.  Moen and Huskins and their Stanley Cup rings should be able to contribute some grit to the Sharks’ lineup.

Friday the 13th came and went here without incident, but the kids at Camp Crystal Lake weren’t so lucky this year.  Jason Voorhees is back with a vengeance.  That’s right… they finally made a good Friday the 13th movie and it’s been a long time coming.

Unless you’re a 19-year-old bank teller, you know the story, so I won’t recap it here.  It’s the same plot, just with some new twists.  Friday the 13th’s twisted morality tale is still in effect, which means all the potheads and fornicators are doomed from the start.  One thing that kind of stuck out (at least for me),  is that Jason seemed to be more than just a psycho running around in a hockey mask… they actually made him very smart and methodical, as well as an unstoppable killing machine running around in a hockey mask.  There’s actually one scene that shows trophies he won as a kid in archery and hockey, which have haunting permutations for the camp visitors.

Friday the 13th is  a suspenseful, scary, bloody mess and well worth the price of admission, especially if you enjoy having the crap scared out of you.  In fact, you might want to bring extra pants.

Apparently, tequila can kill you if you drink too much.  Officials in Germany are prosecuting a German barman with serving 45 fatal tequila shots to a 16-year-old boy, who fell into a coma and eventually died. That’s right.  45 shots.  To a 16 year-old.   Even though I did start my drinking career at a relatively similar age, I’m fairly certain my body was not well equipped to handle such vast quantities of magical elixir.

While it’s sad to learn a misguided kid lost his life in such a way, one really must ask themselves ‘just how much alcohol is in 45 shots of tequila?’   We employed the scientific professionals at Ashton, Guthmiller and Juan to come up with some answers.  According to their research:

45 shots is enough to kill one sixteen year old.

45 shots is enough to kill six Tila Tequilas (we could only be so lucky).

45 shots is enough to kill an entire band called Nickelback.

45 shots is enough to give any one member of Motley Crue (of your choice) a mild headache and a trip to the restroom.

45 shots is enough to kill ZERO Dirty Harrys, because nothing can kill Dirty Harry (not even Chuck Norris).

Don’t drink and drive.

Photo by Mark Pardew / AP

Brush Bush fires in Australia continue to rage, with the death toll currently at 181 and sure to rise later in the week.  The loss of life, property, land and wildlife has been staggering, with over 1000 people homeless and close to one million acres of land scorched.  Australian authorities have initiated a hunt for the arson suspects that they believe are responsible for the tragedy and the Australian Army has been deployed to lend assistance to exhausted police and fire fighters.  Humanitarian relief efforts are also underway.

Anyone that is willing to assist is encouraged to donate to the Red Cross.