This Week’s Comics…

…that I will plan on buying, but may talk myself out of after all, include:

Dark Horse

WANT! Grendel: Behold the Devil #8 of Ocho - I can finally sit down and read this entire series in one go.  I read the first couple issues and somehow mustered the willpower to wait for the rest of the series to manifest itself before reading it.  I usually have no willpower when it comes to awesome.  I loves me some Grendel and Matt Wagner never disappoints.

DC: This Mess Is a Place!

WANT! Batman and the Outsiders #8 -  Batman and Company rescue Green Arrow from the moon.  Ok, that may not be entirely accurate, but this is one of DC’s best comics right now, thanks to Chuck Dixon (not that I’m bitter!) and Julian Lopez.  Much kickassery should abound since Batgirl will be sent into China to rescue the team and get some yummy takeout for Batman, who’s chilling in the cave trading snappy comebacks with his female compainions.  Also, Nightwing shows up to learn Batman some more of the fine art of “Being Cool, But Not So Brooding.”

Sad Fact:  This will be the only DC title I purchase this week.

OK, scratch what I just said because:

WANT NEED! Showcase Presents: The Flash, Volume 2 -  More than 500 pages of high-speed adventure, collected from the pages of THE FLASH #120 - THE FLASH #140!  I need to go cry me some tears of joy.  And email my Stop of Comics to reserve one (totally George’s fault if I don’t get one).  I can get old awesome, as opposed to current awesome.  Maybe DC can be redeemed.

Marvel: Who’s a Skrull This Week?

WANT! Marvel Adventure Avengers #25:  Avengers vs. Arnim Zola, using the Jeff Parker-Fu.  It has Ant-Man (stop laughing), but sadly, no Hawkeye.  There is always the off chance that Karl will appear (you know, Karl… from AIM) and actually be the guy talking in the TV screen that is Arnim Zola’s chest thingie.  And I don’t need to tell you how awesome that would be.  I want Karl’s job. 

MAYBE?  Wolverine Volume 3 (really?!?  Volume 3?  Is that even necessary?) #66:  I would buy this just because Hawkeye supposedly appears in it and is a dirty old hippie.  A blind, dirty, old hippie, who wants to drive across country for some road beers and beef jerky while being blind.  And with what gas costs these days?  Note to Logan: Hawkeye does not have radar sense, like that other blind guy.  Buckle up.

MAYBE?  Iron Man: Haunted TPB:  I really enjoyed the first trade collecting the Knauf’s stories about Iron Man, Director of SHIELD and Far Right Wing Republican Bastard, so I might pick this up.  Apparently he has a mental breakdown and fights Bloodscream and Roughhouse.  Of course, after saying that out loud, I may pass.

NOT WANT! Astonishing X-Men Vol 4: Unstoppable:  Hey, didn’t I just read this last week?  No, will not be buying. K. Thx.  How can u kill mah kittah pryde?

For the record, totally loved Messiah Complex.  They finally made Cyclops a badass.  Again.

Kind of a light week this week and last week was a light week…  I sense a week of pain ahead.  Lots and lots of good comics pain (and lighter check book).

More importantly:  What are you buying, dear blog reader(s)???  Yes, I am going for readers, as in plural.

Stan Winston 1946-2008

Stan Winston, visual effects pioneer and legend, passed away at 62 on Sunday.  He was responsible for visual effects in movies like Terminator, Aliens, Predator, Jurassic Park and Iron Man.

Entertainment Weekly has a great retrospective on his career and the extraordinary work that won him three Oscars.  Anyone that loves movies knows what a contribution he made to the industry and the incredible legacy he leaves behind.

Rest easy, Stan.

Be Nice to Things That Are Green

***WARNING: THERE BE SPOILERS AHEAD!  YARR!!!***

I gotta say, The Incredible Hulk was pretty good overall and far exceeded Juan’s expectations.  In fact, it was I would categorize it as suprisingly good.

To sum it up, this movie is more of a spiritual successor to the TV series rather than a sequel to the abysmal Ang Lee movie version from a few years back.  Anyone that liked the TV show, which seems to be most of my generation, given the show lasted four years and several made-for-TV movies… will likely agree and will be able to keep up with what’s going on without much issue.  There’s isn’t a lot of build up/secret origin/character development stuff off the bat, but the movie doesn’t suffer for it.

You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.

Ed Norton, Liv Tyler and William Hurt all turn in good performances, but Tim Roth really stole the screen for me with another great, albeit underrated, performance.  His Emil Blonsky is very intense and creepy.  But then you’re talking about the guy that was the only reason/redeeming factor for watching Tim Burton’s Horrible, Horrible, Planet of the Apes.

Overall, if you’re looking for a good, entertaining summer flick and like comics, the Incredible Hulk doesn’t disappoint.  Three of four Juans.  Or whatever our scale is.

Also saw The Happening this weekend.  It was a decently suspensful story, even though if a bit predictable.  The wooden Mark Wahlberg showed up for this one, which was a bit of a letdown.  He’s a bit hit or miss sometimes, but I generally like his work.  He plays (try not to look shocked) a really nice, polite guy.  Without giving too much away, I will say be really nice to trees.  Marky Mark was and he lived through the whole thing.  Damn, just blew the ending.  But no one reads my blog, so you’re probably safe.

You wouldn’t like him when he’s hungry.

If I could have bent reality, I would have called this movie “What’s Happening?” and cast all the characters from the TV show, but put them in the same story.  That would have been a five star movie.  Rerun, ftw.

Or Rerun as the Incredible Hulk… oh, the mind runneth over with that one.

Metal Gear Solid 4

Hey, it’s another 4/IV game! But this one has a moustache.

Juan promises to sleep through as many cutscenes as possible!

Top 10 Reasons to Play Metal Gear Soild 4

1.  Incredible third-person teabagging sim!

2.  Ability to turn into a walking cardboard box and perplex your enemies!

3.  Best.  Video game.  Moustache.  Ever!  (see above)

4.  Monkeys!  Not just ordinary monkeys, either.  After playing, I discovered these Monkeys are wearing leather underpants. I shit thee not. 

5.  Ability to turn into a statue and do nothing!

6.  Girlie mags restore health!

7.  Weapons in multiplayer do no damage!

8.  You get to punch dudes in the junk!

9.  Ability to turn into a barrel and crush your enemies!

10.  4GB install over the PSN network, meaning you won’t be able to play until days after the release!

Bonus Reason:  Manapaults!

Methinks He Enjoys It…

…maybe a bit too much.

Shirt Club!

I’m sure there are many rules to Shirt Club, but I am so overwhelmed by the Most Awesome Thing in the History of Free Trade Commerce that I am rendered speechless.

Jackson Publick does love us.

By the way, The Venture Bros. made its triumphant return this week…

What happened to May?

No, not Aunt May… no one can track the trainwreck that is Peter Parker’s life (except maybe C-A-I-N-I-M AKA Cranium).  Juan is referring to the month of May, where life is super busy for some inexplicable reason.  Or perhaps several explicable reasons in no particular order (pick your favorite):

1. GTA IV - Juan has invested many, many hours in Liberty City and has not even finished the game yet.  Juan loves saying “Nico Bellic” out loud, every chance he gets.
2. Cinco de Juan - Much like its Irish counterpart, St. Petrick’s Day, Cinco de Juan is a day in which everyone gets to experience the joy of being Mexican (for a day).  Luckily Juan is both Irish and Mexican, so it’s like having three birthdays each year.
3. Accidental, Yet Systematic, Destruction of All Most Things Green - Juan bought the wrong Roundup, now half the back yard is dead, including parts not wanted dead.  Bah!
4. Dia de Juan 2008 - Much celebratin’ needed to be done because, well… Dia de Juan.
5. Emerald City Comicon - Juan bought many trades in black and white and got his Agents of Atlas HC signed and sketched on by Jeff Parker.  The girls got Bamber-ized (who, apparently, was very huggy) and everyone had a great time.  The ECCC was well worth postponing the Official 2008 Dia de Juan festivities a couple of weeks.  Bonus: We got another Thing George Should Be Blamed For (#54!) out of the deal, so we all win.
6. Rainbow Six Vegas 2:  Sometimes the terrorists win because Juan es muy estupido.  Two and a half campaigns and nightly Terrorist Hunts and we’re still going strong.  Juan has complained about a lack of knives and claymores though.  Juan also cannot remember the last time he had this much fun with a shooter or gotten as much play out of it as much as he has.  It may be Juan’s Game of the Year.
7. Dia de Juan (y Jenny):  The party was awesome… great times with great friends.  And cake was more than just an excuse to have a party.  Jenny finally got her heart’s desire.  Juan discovered he is a true Latin Sensation, at least according to his friends.
8. Blue Rodeo at the Triple Door:  Had a good time at the Blue Rodeo show at the Triple Door with KP.  The show was good… not exactly Juan’s cuppa, but they’re great musicians and put on a good show.  The venue is probably the best place Juan has ever had dinner and a show.  And the food was really and truly awesome.  Juan’s recommendation: 1000 Fists of Beef and Heavenly Transcendent Green Beans.
9. Dia de Jenny (pronounced “Yenny”) - The Sidekick had her dia, which consisted of dining at Marrakesh, eating with no utensils (which is more challenging than it sounds) and belly dancing.  Juan got powdered sugar on his feet.  Plus, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (AKA One Indy Too Many), which was largely perceived as “ok.”  Dear Mr. Lucas and Mr. Spielberg, Please: no more.
10. Work - Actually did some.  Surface Photos is starting to look like a real product.  Juan got a work laptop as well, so now he feels like a real boy.
11. Hockey - The Stanley Cup Playoffs are still underway.  The Sharks didn’t make it past round 2, much to Juan’s discontent.  Pittsburgh, the second Cup choice, is flailing before the mighty, mighty Red Wings.  Seriously, those guys look so dominant and efficient, we should be sending them to fight the war on terror once they finish off the Pens.  Prediction:  Red Wings vs. Al Qaeda- Wings win it in five games.

On blog, it doesn’t maybe seem like much, but May is insane.

That would be a good Spider-Man plot.

What? No Poll?!?

How will Juan choose his rap name without an ability to post a poll on his blog?

• Grand Fierce Juanito P
• Stealth Juanito P Fatal Jam
• Manic Juanito P Gunshot Swoop
• Straight JP Assassin
• Manic Juanito J a.k.a. Sly Grip
• J Murda Doom
• Sinista Juanito J
• Force J Juanito

Why must technology fail Juan?

Also: Juan will respect his reader’s demand(s) and will write about Juan in the third person from now on.  Thank you, America, for making Juan’s dreams come true!

Stephen Colbert Interview

While I don’t usually watch the Colbert Report because of that whole “lack of TV watching” thing I do, he does give a compelling interview.

I’ll be back to posting more crappy updates on a consistent basis probably sometime this week.  No promises.  Sorry fan(s).

Chinese Transformers Video

Saint Sea Hat!